Recovery, Pain, and being Grateful

So the recovery for my hand is going much slower than I had anticipated. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t get me down, because it does. I don’t believe I take anything for granted these days, but perhaps maybe I was taking for granted that I had two hands. They didn’t function quite as well as a non-diseased ridden body, but they did work with pain. I actually cried a little today in the car on the way home from therapy. Sometimes when you’re in the middle of it, it just appears as though it’s going to take forever to overcome. When I look at my right hand it reminds me of all the crap I went through last year. My right index finger was doing fine until May of 2012 when the bomb was dropped right before my eyes. It’s not only the setback from my physical activity or normal household chores that can ransack my emotions, but it’s a reminder of Canada and how it destroyed my overall health. It’s a terrible thing to suffer great loss, especially when the outcome has greater physical effect on your body than emotional. I do believe I will get through this. I may have tears along the way and it may be tough, but nothing, and I mean nothing, is worse than losing a child. I consider this easy compared to that. I bet my little Jack would think my new bionic hand was pretty cool.

I’m very lucky to have an incredible doctor, who not only is exceptional at what she does, but she is extremely humble and has great concern and care for her patients. Dr. Beth Purdy is an outstanding hand surgeon and individual. She is also surrounded by an exceptional staff. These ladies know how to do it and keep everything in line with great attitudes. I’m very lucky to have some amazing people to keep me going. Dr. Purdy and her team are very confident I will have full range of motion back in my index finger. My thumb will have limited mobility, but will still work.

I will commit to put the work in everyday even when I am tired. I need to work my hands and my fingers to ensure I get the best possible outcome from this amazing surgical capability. Like I said, it’s harder than I thought, but let’s face it, it could always be worse.

Make it count by being grateful that it’s not worse.

Ashley Stevenson